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Flamsteed Astronomy Society |
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1st Law: The skies are never clear within 3 days of new moon, since there is not enough solar energy reflected off the moon to dissipate the clouds. 2nd Law: Rare astronomical events usually occur within 3 days of full moon and/or within 30 apparent degrees from the sun (gravitational interpretation of Murphy's law). 3rd Law: When observing, the object you want to see will always be below the horizon or less than 10 degrees from the horizon with the most light pollution (since frustration is related to entropy, it must always increase). 4th Law: Supernovae, comets, and asteroids are always discovered by someone else (because no matter where you are, the sun will always set earlier somewhere else, and therefore someone else will find it first). 5th Law: 90 percent of meteors occur behind you when everyone else is facing you (so they can all say, "ooh!... You missed a good one!)
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Observing Tips from Dave Woodford |
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What they say |
What they really mean |
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It’s a difficult double star |
If you see two stars, it’s probably wishful thinking |
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This is a test for a 4-inch telescope |
Use a 10-inch and maybe you’ll see it |
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An experienced observer can detect the star’s variability |
If you haven’t been observing for at least 10 years, don’t try it |
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The colour contrast is striking |
One star is white. The other is white. |
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The spectrum is unusual |
I can’t understand it |
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The ideal book for an amateur |
Brush up your math |
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The cluster has over two hundred stars |
I counted twenty-five with a 10-inch telescope |
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The slightest haze will obscure it |
You probably won’t see it on the clearest night |
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The telescope’s optics are superb |
They magnify atmospheric disturbances perfectly |
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The site offers clear skies year round |
It’s two hundred miles from civilization |
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A person with average eyesight can split this pair |
Over half the world is blind |
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If it’s cloudy, other activities are planned |
Let’s gobble down some pizza and swill beer |
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Observations were terminated at 2 am because of haze |
I got cold and sleepy and ran out of vanilla wafers |
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“Uh, that’s neat” (by your non-astronomical neighbour on being shown M31) |
“How much did you say you paid for this thing?” |
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I think it’s only the wind in the trees or a cow in that field or something |
It will probably eat me then march on Tokyo |
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After moonrise members ceased deep-sky activities and enjoyed pleasant views of the Moon |
Everybody (a) cursed, (b) seared their retinas, and (c) went home |
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I found the views provided by the 2-meter to be very pleasing |
Wow! Would you look at that! Cowabunga! |